Taking Responsibility For Your Anger
The truth is that you are responsible for your actions no matter what anyone else does or says.
It may be true that you were abused as a child. You may have experienced all kings of horrible things, from emotional to physical to sexual abuse. Please understand that I am not trying to minimize that and say it didn’t happen or it doesn’t matter.
It may be true that your girlfriend treats you poorly. She may be mean and critical, worse than any woman in the world. I recommend that you seek highly trained marriage counselors. It might be true that she would drive me crazy, too. It might be true that other people have problems just like yours, and some of theirs are worse. I am not debating any of that.
Excuses Don’t Work In Anger Management
But what I am saying is that falling back on these thoughts will not help you. Relying on these excuses will hold you back from dealing with your anger. They are a crutch, and they will not help you get better.
To learn to control your anger, you have to own the fact that you are responsible for what you do–no matter what.
The truth is that you always have a choice in how you act. No one can control the way you respond. You always have a choice. Even if someone sticks a gun to your head, you have a choice in how you respond. No one can make you respond in any way.
You Have A Choice
No matter what has happen in your history, or what the circumstance are that are getting you mad right now, you still have a choice in ow you respond. Always.
It may not always be an easy choice, but it is still a choice.
Once you understand that you can choose how you handle our anger, you can then make better choices about how you want to handle it.
So the good news is that since you have a choice in how yo handle your anger, you don’t have to be a prisoner to external events. If bad things happen, you can still control yourself. Even if you have a bad history of choices that involve anger, you can make new choices today.
Whatever happens, or whatever someone else says does not control how you respond. You are no longer a victim to your anger and you can choose to set yourself free.
Your anger management does not depend on someone else’s actions.
Lets recap an important point: you can no longer blame anyone else for your anger. That’s because I just took all of your excuses away. The responsibility for how you respond to anger is now squarely on your shoulders. If you blow up in anger, you can’t blame it on your wife or your fiend or a coworker or you past or anything else. Your anger is your responsibility.
Own Your Anger
If you think about it, this makes sense. After all, you can trace back your current situation to some point when you made a choice. You need to go back to that point and accept the fact that you r situation now is a natural consequence to your decisions. After you have come to terms with the fact that you are responsible for where you find yourself now you can stop brooding and replace the thought, “Wow, I really screwed up!” with the question, “What can I do to move forward?”