Anger Management Option: Direct Confrontation

Direct confrontation is very hard to do, but it can be extremely effective when done well. The idea behind direct confrontation in anger management counseling is that you sit down with someone face-to-face and tell them directly what your problem is, without being explosive. This method works well in relationship counseling tools.

You stand up when there is a wrong and confront the problem while still considering the needs of others. This choice with anger can help relationships to grow. You are not abrasive and not meant to harm, but work through a situation and bring it to a conclusion. You communicate your needs in a constructive fashion.

This might mean taking a stand in a relationship so that you are not walked on, but done in a way that cares for the other person. You are both kind and firm at the same time.

If you are wronged and you do nothing, you usually become bitter about it eventually and junk piles up in your relationships. Being assertive allows you to keep a clean slate with everyone.

It’s important to use direct confrontation on subjects that matter. Confronting takes energy. You can’t confront everything, so you have to learn to let go of small, trivial problems.

Being assertive is very important and difficult. It is not about pushing your agenda on someone, and it also takes into account the long run and not just the immediate situation. The tone of your voice is also very important in your confronts.

People do not always respond well to direct confrontation (especially those that are overly sensitive) but there is a greater chance it will help resolve your problem and make the situation better. This is a healthy response to anger.

Pros and Cons

Using direct confrontation lets you speak your mind without being explosive. It lets you “get it off your chest” so that you are not stuffing it. And there is a good chance that it will hep your situation become better. And although you cannot change a person, direct confrontation might help someone else understand your side better.

But it is very hard to do well, and most people don’t like confrontation, so they hate this choice, even though they know it is a good one. If done poorly, it can also lead to explosive anger. That’s one of the dangers in this option.

Excerpt taken from “Take Control of Your Anger: A Step-by-Step Guide to Anger Management” by Michael Ballard.